Tararua The Zombie
Syzy Gal o00o alias Louise Mills
2020

Tararua = to divide into 2 parts, partition (Maori Tongue)

so i sit here bewildered
’cause I chose not to be filtered
i chose not to know their truth
‘cause it ruptures me own youth
i chose not to study war and the ongoing torture and more
i chose not to look direct at the terror
‘cause i knew it would break my heart and sever
any joy i could surrender
any love i could remember
s’ok though
‘cause this school’s over
we’ve come to the end of history’s repeating clover
it’s the end my friend
i’m starting anew
where the souls won’t wander separate
or so much as be divided in 2
in me last past life, i were an insect and fat
i got eaten by a venus flytrap
and it still feels like i’m on a zombie line.

truth is, i came out through a spark
and then landed on me ass
a cat told me i was special
i believed that doctor Jeckyll
a dog laughed at me musings
said i could use improving
that made me start puking
as a way of soothing
and losing weight.
once the bully of our gang made me punch me best friend
“that’s a real test of strength!” she said
so i walked up to her
my pride and joy
and smacked her in the gob
like a real boy.
and it feels like i’m living on a zombie line.

(two sides of the coin, the coin, two sides of the coin)

i used to hate swimming as a kid
i were the only girl with big tits
those times were a blur
couldn’t feel me body
really hated being a girl
i used to want to be a boy
i dressed up like one
jumped off high buildings like one
but never really proved it like one
and it still feels like i’m on a zombie line.

“the beautiful enthralls us, but the nicest frees us from ourselves” (a teabag message)



my name doesn’t come from a time and age that i know of
me roots are stripped
i’ve barely a clue of
so how do i even start from a beginning?
of some coherent form of pinning
down the roots, down the truth
down my ever-present jewels of knowledge, wisdom, books
took form robbing pillaging crooks
over a time that overlooks the crimes
of greedy needy rampant minds
the’d take the rhymes out of words if they could.

“the beautiful enthralls us but the nicest frees us from ourselves”
(the coin, the coin, the coin, 2 sides of the coin)

so i sit here bewildered
‘cause i chose not to be filtered
i chose not too know their truth
‘cause it ruptures me own youth
i chose not to study war
and the ongoing torture and more…